Washing them will actually help, cuz the cleaner they are, the better they lock up...
You're probably gonna freak a bit for a while after you wash them cuz they'll look a mess...but take a deep breath and do some palm rolling and root rubbing...dreads are gonna take a while to actually look like dreads...it's all a process and it'll be well worthit in the end...
Good for you for not using wax and kudos to your friends...if you need something to help tame the wildness, get some PURE aloe vera gel and use a small amount to smooth things out...
Good luck and any questions, just come back around...plenty of great people here willing to help you on your journey! :-)
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